From the Vault: At Least I'm Talking into the Microphone

Catching up with a cousin this past weekend and reminiscing about good times and laughing a lot inspired me to post this. It's the transcript of the speech I gave at my brother's wedding three years ago. I remember being nervous but excited to give this speech, and a beer or two definitely helped me take the edge off. I suppose I could have put the beer down before giving the speech, but at least I wasn't talking into it. Also, as a side note/update, I'm very close to becoming an aunt, as my sister in law is about to give birth any day now. Three years wasn't too long to wait to be an aunt. 

Good Evening Everyone. My name is Lynn and I have been Brian’s big sister for 32 years.  Let me tell you, it has been exhausting! Our parents always said that if Brian came first he would have been an only child and I gotta say, I really really believe them.  Speaking of my parents I’d like to just take a minute to thank them for this wonderful evening we’re all enjoying and also everything they’ve done for Brian and I throughout the years.  My parents are two of warmest, kindest, most generous people in the world and it is impossible to put into words the kind of support they’ve shown for Brian and I over the years.  The way I see it, there are two groups of people in this room right now; those whose lives have been permanently and positively impacted by mom and dad, and those who simply haven’t had the pleasure of knowing them long enough yet.

  

So as I said, I’m Brian’s older sister.  There are only 14 months between us and my parents planned it that way so we could “play together.”  How did that work out Bri? We had lots of good times, but man oh man did we fight too.  Brian would tease me and cut me down all the time and we got it to some good brawls. You see the difference between Brian and I is that I was capable of showing mercy.  I’d have him pinned on the ground, fist in the air ready to deck ‘em but I’d never be able to bring myself to do it. Where as he, on the other hand, could look me straight in the eye and punch me right in the nose.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I could throw a shoe from across a room like nobody’s business! Brian, as we stand here on your wedding day, I know I don’t have to tell you what a pain in the ass you were growing up because you already know it.  What I do want to tell you, though, is that over time I’ve come to realize that being a bastard to me was your own little messed up way of showing your affection. My biggest critic in a room full of people, but my biggest fan the moment I leave it. While mom and dad’s plan for perfect playmates didn’t work out exactly right, I can honestly say that the gift of you as sibling is the greatest gift I have ever received from them.  I admire your passion and determination and I’ve always envied your ability to dream big.  The happiness you feel today has been a long time coming and you deserve every minute of it.

For those of you who don’t know, Brian and Brittany met several years ago when Brian was 24 and Brittany was, well, jail bait. I always knew Brian would be popular in high school, I just didn’t expect him to be mid twenties when it would finally happen for him. Anyway, the circumstances surrounding the start of B & B’s relationship were kinda complicated and they spent their early days in an exciting and dramatic secret romance.  Now I know what you’re thinking: Brian and drama in the same sentence? That’s weird?!  Except, it’s not. Brian always says that he hates drama, but what he really means is he hates drama that isn’t his. In fact, he’s such a girl sometimes that I personally consider this union to be a big step forward for gay marriage.

 At any rate, after a roller coaster romance for a little while, Brian and Brittany ended up breaking up, and Brittany moved up to Utah.  A couple years after that, their paths crossed briefly again, but it wasn’t until a few years ago that they were able to finally reconnect in a deep and permanent way.  Their relationship is great reminder that so much in life is a matter of timing. For all of us, when the timing is right, good things will come.

Brittany – you look absolutely gorgeous. Let’s hear it for this beautiful bride….Seriously people, this beautiful young woman just married Waaaaz! Brittany, you are a sweat heart and we whole heartedly welcome you into this family.  Being with you has made Brian this happiest he has been is his entire life and I love you for that.  I look forward to watching you guys grow together and one day in the not too distant future becoming aunt. 

 

Brian and Brittany this is the first day of your new life together. The separate paths that lead you to this point are behind you now and the only way forward is through each other.  Your new life together will come with many ups and downs.  Enjoy the good times, but realize that the bad times are just as important, for within them is always an opportunity to grow.  Love each other with kindness, accept each other with honesty and forgive each other with grace.  May the happiness you feel today be just the tip of the iceberg.

Now if you’ll please raise your glass with me in a toast.  To Brian and Brittany, a life filled with love, and good timing.
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This is the New Year

I sit in front of an empty white screen glowing with possibility. Gentle rhythmic clicking of the keys and alternating long pauses of  thoughtful silence are both overshadowed by the unrelenting tapping of my pinky finger on the backspace. Thoughts of healing and closure, wishes of well being and peace, declarations of inspiration and ambition. All are presented and retracted with haste. And so, instead of attempting to directly move and motivate you with my words in this new year, I find it easier to share with you a New Year's Day tradition that revitalizes me.

My tradition is watching The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.  I never intended to make this a New Year's Day tradition, it actually happened by accident. The movie was originally released on Christmas Day 2008, and I saw it for the first time in the theater on New Year's Day of 2009. Needless to say, I really enjoyed it. The next year my cousin was in town on New Year's Day 2010 and we decided to rent a movie. She had not yet seen Benjamin Button, and I loved it, so we decided to rent it. Unfortunately in the short run, but fortunately in the long run, Blockbuster (remember that place) was out of rent-able copies, so I bought the movie. At the end of the movie I realized it was the second New Years Day in a row I was watching it, and so, a tradition was born.

The viewing this year was extra special because our daughters watched the movie with me. I've found that one of the greatest pleasures in life is sharing something you love with someone you love. But, when the someone you share it with is a person you are partially responsible for creating, well, then the feeling is near bliss.

Though there are many reasons I enjoy The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, the main reason is that by the time the credits roll up at the end, I feel like I have a solid handle on the concept of life. The stories told throughout the film support four major points that unite us all and define the human condition.

1. We're all going the same way. Simply put; we are born, time passes, and we die. No matter who you are, no matter where you live, no matter what you choose, you will end up the same way as everyone else who has ever lived. The only differences lie in the questions of "when" and "how."

2. Nothing lasts. Life is a period of existence based on evolution. Our lives will certainly end. Change is inevitable. Our experiences will modify our thoughts and feelings. Our abilities will wax and wane like the moon. Being grateful for this moment now is the key to happiness.

3. You never know what's coming for you. This is the wild card. The mystery of life. The fate, the destiny. The triumph and tragedy. The energy of the universe. Despite any and every effort we make, unknown circumstances are waiting around the bend. We must surrender to that which we cannot control.

4. In the end you have to let go. To quote the movie, "You can be as mad as a mad dog at the way things went. You could swear, curse the fates, but when it comes to the end, you have to let go." So I ask: Since we have to let go of everything in the end anyway, why not make sure we're not holding on to too much while we're here?

These four points are easier said than remembered, and easier remembered than lived. But it is with these points fresh in my mind once more that I set out into 2015 with a renewed perspective and personal mission. This year I do not seek to be happier or healthier, to be smarter or stronger, to be braver or better. This year my goal is simply to be. Breathing my breath, embracing my activity, and appreciating my abundance as I approach

each day like an empty white screen, glowing with possibility.

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