Who Are You?

Who are you? Such a simple question at first. Who are you (read: what is your name?)? I am [insert name here]. See...simple. When we step away from the finite answer of a name, however, and allow this question some room to expand, things get interesting quite quickly.  Suddenly we have an existential question with depth to last for days.  Who are you? I am curious about how often people ask themselves this question and even more curious about how they answer it. One way to answer this question is to rely on the roles we play in life. I find it fascinating that the first role each of us plays in life, the role of a child, relies entirely upon the decisions of two strangers.  Our parents either planned to create us, or chose not to abort us and so now we exist. For each of us, being born is easiest part of determining who we are. We literally had no choice.

From birth on, however, things aren't so easy.  As we head through life we are exposed to more and more of 'the world' and we are faced with a great many choices. We live, we learn, we discover, we grow and somewhere along the way we gradually determine who we are. Our nature, our tendencies and our preferences all rise to the surface and we become identifiable. Identification is fascinating to me because it relies so heavily on definition.  I've long been a member of the "it is what it is, regardless of what you call it" camp, but then again, if you have no name by which to identify something, how do you know what it is? In my mind, the concept of definitions is dichotomous. On one hand, definitions are a relief because they provide order and reason (i.e. A law defines acceptable behavior within a society, a diagnosis defines a medical condition,etc.).  On the other hand, when definitions are applied to people, I find they become cumbersome. As I think about the process of determining identity a few questions come to mind:

How many times must a person perform an action in order to be considered a member of a certain community? If I go snowboarding once does that automatically mean I'm snowboarder? What if I go twice? A dozen times?

How does proficiency impact membership in a community? Do you have to be good at something to truly belong?

What role does reason play in action based definition? Is there a difference between stealing food to feed your starving family and stealing a CD just because you want it?  

What is the impact of enjoyment on identification within a community? If I no longer enjoy playing the drums, but I continue to play them, am I not still a drummer?

Is there a statute of limitations on action based definition? How far into the future should your actions follow and define you?


I don't have concrete answers to any of these questions, but I do feel that the definition of one's "self" is infinite. Over the course of the lifetime we are many things to many people, and our impact is always greater than we realize. We fill our days, months and years with many different experiences and if we're lucky we learn something from most of them. We love, we hate, we laugh, we cry, we help, we hurt, and we age. We all live one day at a time as we head towards whatever we believe will meet us at the end of this life. I for one, chose to live a thoughtful life filled with personal reflection. I live this way in the hopes that my end will come with a peaceful sense of clarity as I look back and answer, with great depth and detail, one final question....."Who were you?"

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