Don't Ever Let This Happen

Somehow, someway, today, a diaper found its way into our washing machine. Maybe a ska troll chucked it in there. Maybe an absent minded parent got it mixed up with the laundry. Who knows. Knowing exactly how it got there is irrelevant, for it doesn't change the fact that it was there. Also, before I go any further - no, it was not a dirty #2 diaper.

Anyway, the reason a diaper can hold so much baby pee is because it contains lots and lots of little tiny gel bead type things that expand very much, and almost seem to multiply, when they get wet. I saw many of them first hand this morning as I opened up my washing machine cover to discover all of the clothes covered in these expanded gel beads performing at their best. Clumps of them, as well as random ones, scattered about throughout the entire load of laundry and covering the bottom & sides of the washing drum.

Thankfully I have a husband who is down like a mofo when it comes to teamwork. He vacuumed out the washing machine and laundry room floor while I hosed down our underwear in the backyard to get rid of the gel beads.

Why can't diapers be filled with fabric softener?

11.15.8

Today was a good day.

Early this morning I imported a bunch of music to iTunes which was a very much overdo activity. I'm trying to get my library in decent shape before our Thanksgiving week trip to NY. Much progress was made.

Late this morning I took Kristen for a ride in the car in order to induce a nap. As I headed west on SR-238 there was a DPS dude hiding out waiting for speeders, which I was not. I drove for several miles until Kristen passed out, and then I turned around. On my way back, heading east towards the house, some douchebag with a small weenie in a giant truck came right up on my ass and then whizzed past me the first chance he got. As he blew by, I smiled a tranquil smile as I recalled who was waiting for him up ahead. Sure enough, about a mile later I saw that fucker on the side of the road with the DPS man flashing his lights behind him. Oh, sweet justice!

Early this afternoon I went to 4Peaks with some good friends and my husband and sis-in-law. Great food. Great beer. Great times. We proceeded on to the ASU game which was okay. My sis-in-law (Erin) and I bailed before halftime and went a nice little bar off University. Us old folks know it as the Old Dos Gringos, but it's now called something like 'Barney's Boathouse'. The waitress was about 9 years my junior, but after a short grieving period, I was okay with that. The bar was about 2 or 3 doors down from the church Brendan and I were married in, so I enjoyed a moment of nostalgia. We made it back to the car before Brendan did, which was SUPER important to me. I was gloating for the first 5 minutes, but after the first 10 without him showing up I was starting to get pissed. It took him like 25 min to get there. Serves me right for gloating.

Early this evening a stranger showed me his penis. As Erin and I were waiting for Brendan at the car, we were shouting off the side of the parking garage. Nothing important, just random animal noises and what not. Two dudes walking below yelled up at us in a most unoriginal fashion, "Show us your tits!" I quickly yelled back, "Show us your cock!" Well....he did. Thankfully we were waaay high up on the fourth level so I didn't have to get a good look. He was quite proud of himself, and as he pulled his pants back over his junk he responded, "Where's the tits?!" I promptly yelled back, "At your mom's house!" Then I was proud of MYself.

Catalogs

Catalogs are neat. Sometimes they're a nice surprise, other times they are just lowly junk mail. It depends on two things - what type of catalog it is, and whether or not you signed up to recieve it on purpose. Here is a summary of the catalogs I've recieved recently:

1. Oriental Trading's December catalog - standard catalog. Some cute stuff, some junk. All of it Made in China by children the same age as Keira. It reminds me of the disappointment in Keira's voice as I was throwing out all of the Halloween candy she got that was made in China. "Not ALL of it mommy!"

2. Fisher Price's Holiday Collection - Lots of neat kids toys. They had a really cool Little People nativity scene. If it weren't a 'catalog exclusive' I'd pretty much bet my life that my mother-in-law would get it for the girls. Although who knows, maybe she gets the catalog too.

3. Victoria's Secret Christmas 2008 - I'll skip the obvious complaining about the perfect, very much airbrushed, bodies and the related social body image problems. What I found most interesting was the eyes of the models. Most of them looked so dopey. I've heard the term 'bedroom eyes' before, but this catalog takes it to a whole new level. I would like to suggest some new terms to classify this look. How about:

Hangover Eyes

Heroin Overdose Eyes

Wait, What? Eyes

Asian Impression Eyes

No, I Cannot Read the Bottom Line on that Eye Chart Eyes

4. The Pyramid Collection: A Catalog of Personal Growth & Exploration - This is the only catolog that did not have my name on the address label. Apparently the lady who lived in our house before us may have been into earthy Wiccan dragon fairy crystal astrology magick. My favorite section was the "Share the Love" section which featured a 'Pole Dancing Kit' and 'Super Kegel Excerciser.' Timing in life is everything, and this catalog couldn't have come at a better one. Now I have at least TWO things to put on my Christmas Wish List.

Supermarket Saturday

Yesterday I did something I swore I would never do again....I went to the supermarket at miday on a Saturday. It's only logical that supermarkets, and all other stores for that matter, would get a little busier on the weekend, but I feel like we've got it extra bad down here in the 'Copa. I usually go at like 7am on Sundays and it's a dream. No waiting at the cold cut counter or checkouts, plenty of product on the shelves, people sparsely scattered throughout the store...ahhh heaven! On Saturday a 11am it's pretty much the opposite of that.

During the outing I did discover a HUGE new pet peeve. I really dislike when they put extra product displays in the middle of the aisles. I can understand maybe one or two unobtrusive ones (i.e. like the Oreo's right next to the milk case), but yesterday there were about a hundred and three of them all over the place. Add that to massive amounts of people shopping and the fact that I am maneuvering an oversized shopping cart with a car attached to the front like I'm a drunk driver, and you've pretty much got a recipe for disaster. Needless to say, I was not surprised when I heard, "Wet mop clean up on aisle 12," over the intercom.

I am a person of reason, so I understand the intended purpose of these displays. I can also appreciate the influence of the sagging economy on the need of the grocers to sell more products, however they are forgetting one simple thing. Tripping over a tower of Fritos doesn't make me want to buy them. It makes me want to throw them. And then never eat them again.

11.6.8

So it appears Miss Kristen had the correct election prediction. I'm happy about that. The lady next door's proposition passed. I'm sad about that. I'll get over it though, afterall, the people have spoken.

Lots of talk on the radio today about Palin in 2012. Yikes!

Yesterday my Kristen injured herself to the point of bleeding from her mouth. Twice! As if once in a day isn't enough. The second time was worse - she's really lucky she didn't bite off a piece of her tounge.

Work is a downer these days. Every week I say, "There's no way we'll make it through next week." Yet we do. It's frustrating to watch people make multiple bad business decisions over the course of several years, and then have those same people acting surprised at the terrible shape we're in during this sluggish economy. It's even worse when you know you gave them sound advice that was completely dismissed and disregarded. In general they're okay to me there, and they are EXTREMELY flexible when it comes to my schedule (which works out really well with the girls. It's just hard to keep perspective sometimes and keeping perspective is usually what I'm good at.

Fighting off a little cold or something yesterday and today, and it seems like I'm winning the fight. I hope that continues. It should though, I've been taking vitamins and excercising, wiping off doorknobs, and wearing a face mask. Not really on those last two.

Anyhoo....time to make chicken terriyaki and frozen fried rice!