Take This Club and Shove It

On Monday it was announced that, for the first time ever, two women were invited to join the exclusive all male golf club known as Augusta National.

Located in the state of Georgia, Augusta National is a private golf club that was opened for rich white dudes in 1933. In 1990 they decided to break up the 'vanilla sausage fest' by allowing black male members into the club. Despite pressure from woman's advocacy groups in the early 2000s, Augusta National maintained it's all male status until....two days ago.  "Hooraay! Hooray!" said someone who is not me. Pardon my lack of enthusiasm, but I find this long overdue membership extension neither exciting nor inspiring. Congratulations Augusta National, 2 out of your 300 members have vaginas. That's a whopping .67 % of your total membership. How progressive!

The thing that irritates me the most about Augusta National is not its historical policy of exclusion, but rather its dichotomous position in the public/private debate.  To me a private club, like Augusta, should be allowed to include or exclude whomever it wants as long as no laws are broken.  I value the idea of privacy as a right. The problem for me is that Augusta National is a so called "private" club that hosts a very public (and very popular) golf tournament called The Masters. The Masters tournament is sponsored by publicly traded companies which make money by selling products to the entire population in a public marketplace. By hosting The Masters, Augusta National made a choice to step into the public arena, and as such, should have forfeited its right to exclusion on the basis of privacy a long time ago.


So, congratulations to Condi Rice and Darla Moore on your token acceptance to the all boys club. I wish you the best as you play golf and hang with the fellas.  Let me know when they get the tampon machine installed in the ladies room. Oh wait.....there is no ladies room!

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It's Too Early for A-holes!

This morning I went to Walmart (save your judgement) bright and early to do the family grocery shopping and pick up a few last minute back to school supplies. I'm not really a coupon shopper, primarily because I always forget the coupons I do cut out at home, but today is different. Today I have a coupon for 1.00 off 2 boxes of Pop Tarts Mini Crisps. I must take a time out here to tell you that even if you don't like Pop Tarts, you really should try the Mini Crisps.  They come in 100 calorie packs and they're a great little mid day snack.  Plus, the kids love them. Anyway, as I approach the checkout counter and greet the lady working it, she asks me if I have any 'price matching.' I tell her, "No, but I do have this 1.00 off coupon (hand her the coupon) that I'm excited to use." We proceed to exchange a short dialogue about forgetting coupons. I can tell that she's tired, probably at the end of her shift. As I continue loading my stuff on the checkout conveyer, a man with no merchandise in his hands comes up in line behind me. I assume he is there to buy cigarettes, and my assumption is correct.  If the checker wasn't already midway through ringing my order up, I would have let him go in front of me. I know how much it sucks to be in line for one or two items when the person in front of you has a cart full. Letting him cut me is not an option, so instead I offer some peace via a friendly greeting. I say, "Oh man, you picked the wrong line. I'm Sorry." He says nothing in return and gives neither a smile nor a nod.

The lady in blue finishes ringing me up and I pay for my order.  As soon as I do she says, "Oh shoot! I forgot to use your coupon.  Hang on, let me get you a dollar.  Unless you want to just use it for next time?" I tell her it is my preference to use it now and she proceeds to call for a manager. I forgive her mistake and I stand there waiting patiently as she calls for backup. Being the considerate human that I am, I ask her if she can ring the cigarette man up while we wait.  She says she can't, unless he has cash, which he doesn't.   Now comes the fun part. As we wait for the front end manager to come rescue us, the following dialogue transpires:

GUY: All this is over a dollar? I'll pay the dollar.

ME:  I'll take your dollar.  You got cash?

GUY: No.

ME: You don't have to be a jerk about it.

GUY: I'm not being a jerk.

ME:  Yeah. [nods] You are.

GUY: [long pause] (angrily) Well, you don't have to tell me how I'm being.

ME: (calmly) That's fine.

GUY: (angrily) Yeah it is fine!

ME: (calmly) You're right. It is.

The point of this story could be simple...don't be an a-hole.  This is certainly an appropriate point.  Treat people kindly and leave room for patience in response to small mistakes. After thinking about it some more though, this situation becomes amusing to me.  I ask myself, "Why would this man travel all the way to a 184,000 square foot retail store to buy a single pack of cigarettes when he probably passed about 3 gas stations on the way here?" The answer is, "Because the cigarettes, like most things are cheaper here." So now he stands there resenting me for wanting to do the exact something thing he wants to do - save a little money. Oh sweet irony...

Enjoy your cigarettes pal, have fun turning your lungs as black as your soul!

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