Sleepless

It's the middle of the night and I can't seem to fall back to sleep. Instead of laying in bed thinking and staring wide eyed at the ceiling, I figured I'd try to blog my way back to sleep.

It's raining. I love the sound of the rain as it grows in intensity and begins to dance with the low rumble of the passing train.

I know someone who recently started a website business. Essentially he is a T-shirt maker who requires his cotton supplier to pay him to use their cotton. Sounds sustainable to me...

The No Shit, Asswipe MSNBC headline of the week: "Economy Slows Growth in Some Areas."

This weekend we had a great party at our house. We kept the kids this time instead of dumping them off at the grandparents house, and I'm happy with that decision. It made me feel like I was totally embracing my life, rather than trying to escape it. I love the fact that I'm at a place where I can enjoy a few beers and still nail all of my responsibilities. You don't have to be a dry mom to be a good mom. You heard it here first!

Something funky is going on with my left eye. It doesn't look red or feel super itchy, but on Sunday when I woke up it was puffy and sorta swollen. Then my face was red in one specific spot next to my nose. I'm sure I have some rare sinus disease that will eventually lead to my death, or at least gradually and completely impair all senses on the left side of my head.

I wish I didn't leave my book at my parents house. I could sooo finish it right now. I'm reading "New Moon" (thanks Natalie) and I've had 60 pages left for about a week.

When people say they don't have time for something, it really means that they refuse to MAKE time for it. I guarantee that every minute of your day is not used up doing something you absolutely HAVE to do. Enter priorities...

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Today I Cried at Cracker Barrel

This morning I was running late for Keira's dentist appointment AND I couldn't find my phone. I always lose my phone and keys and it always makes me feel small. Somehow I can't seem to overcome this flaw, but anyway...we made it to the dentist only 10 minutes late and I did a really good job at not letting our lateness ruin my mood. I figured - I can't change the fact that we are late, so I need to just accept it and move on. And I did. Keira did a fanstastic job. She let them take x-rays and she got a top notch report. No cavities, no plaque, excellent spacing...perfect.

Against my instincts I decided that it would be nice if we did something special to 'celebrate' Keira's dental performance. So we went, for breakfast, to Cracker Barrel. I don't do things like this with the girls often, because quite frankly I am intimidated by a 2 to 1 kid to adult ratio in public when the '2' are my girls and the '1' is me. I am not ashamed to admit this. So as I said, we went to Cracker Barrel...

The host sat us at a table in the main area not too far from an oversized group of about 20 people. Aside from the large group, it wasn't super busy. Most of the tables were empty. I did my best to entertain the kids (mostly Kristen, Keira is pretty self sufficient), but after 10 minutes without anyone even aknowledging us I began to get anxious. I almost got up and left right then and I really should have. I waited for 5 more minutes then kindly said to a waitress who was paying wonderful attention to the tables all around us, "Excuse me. I don't know who is in charge of our section, but no one has taken our order yet and we've been here for quite a while." So you, well, I anyway, would think that she'd pick up the slack and say something like, "I'm so sorry. What would you like?" But she didn't. Instead she chose the incompetent route with, "Oh. I don't know. Let me go find out." So a different lady came over and I efficiently ordered our meal.

An average amount of time later, my food arrived, hand delivered by some other dude from the back. The only problem is that they didn't bring Keira's pancake. I did my best to assure Keira her pancake would be right out, and I repeatedly asked her if she wanted some of my french toast in the meantime. She declined of course because she didn't want french toast. If she wanted french toast, she would have ordered french toast. She wanted a pancake. That's it. Simple. A fucking pancake. So we waited for about 10 minutes more and I made agitated eye contact with our waitress. At this point Keira's eyes were filled with tears. The waitress rushed right over and placed our bill on the table, turned to Keira and said, "Oh are you unhappy?" I responded on Keira's behalf with, "Yes. Where's her pancake?" She said, "I'm so sorry, I thought they brought it out! It will be right up."

The pancake came quickly then, however, order was not restored to our table, as Kristen had already eaten and she was ready to go. Keira and I rushed through the rest of our breakfast and the manager came over to say she would be taking the pancake off the bill. A small gesture that did nothing to help me overcome the feeling of defeat this whole fiasco had caused.

Off to the cash register to pay. It's all over right? Wrong. Kristen on my hip, Keira by my side, bags on my shoulder and we head towards the store part of the place. Kristen demands, "Cup. Cup. Cup," as she wants to hold the cheesy plastic lided resteraunt cup. "Okay," I say, "Donnn't spill it. Be careful." I turn around and it tumbles (in slow motion of course) into a display, breaks open, and then splashes a 1 foot radius circle on the floor. At that point it took every ounce of restraint I had not to burst into tears like a hysterical lunatic. My eyes filled up with tears, as I avoided eye contact with everyone, paid, and raced for the exit. Thankfully I made it to the car before my tears headed south of my eyes. I cried quietly the whole way to my moms and for a little while after I got there.

It was weird for me because I don't usually break down like that. It was unfamiliar, yet refreshing. I felt soft. Vulnerable. Human.

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Tripe

"Tagless shirts" aren't really tagless. They just move the tag from the back collar seam to the side seam. Instead of an itchy back or neck you get an itchy side.

Relocation is not innovation.

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Oops I Bought a Country Song

I do not like country music. If ever you asked me what kind of music I DO like, I would most probably answer, "Oh, I dunno, lots of stuff, anything really...except Country." Then today something happened. On the way to pick Keira up from school I caught the tail end of Fresh Air - the portion of the radio program during which they do music or movie reviews. Most days I end up half listening, but today I was drawn in by warm, inviting, playful melodies that refused to be tuned out. I utilized iTunes to find and then purchase 2 songs by the artist...a "country" artist, thus breaking my cardinal rule of music. I'll let you guess the artist, but I will tell you that while I was listening I recalled the sounds of Jewel, Michelle Branch, and Lisa Loeb.

Back

We'll, last night at midnight, we returned from a week long Thanksgiving "vacation" in NY. It was successful in the sense that we all survived, however, I feel like I just stepped out of a black hole that I stumbled into a week ago. Here are a few summary lists I compiled on the trip:

Things I Learned, Realized, or Rediscovered
1. Kids always have more fun than adults
2. I like hosting company more than I like being company.
3. I still need my parents.
4. I don't appreciate the simple things enough, and I don't know how to change that.
5. Sometimes it's easy for me to feel out of place.
6. Excercise DOES reduce stress.
7. Drunk people always seem to be having more fun.
8. The only difference between a fun drunk person and an obnoxious asshole is which side of the bottle you're on.
9. Near total darkness by 4:30 pm sucks.
10. Hot chocolate tastes best when you are really cold.
11. I am an oxymoron.
12. Everyone thinks drama is annoying unless it is their own.
13. Everything is better with whipped cream.
14. My physical appearance is starting to mean more to me than I'd like it to.
15. Every trip should have a theme song.
16. Difficult things gradually become easier as they evolve into a routine.
17. I am an Arizonan who used to live in NY, not a New Yorker who lives in AZ.
18. All things are brighter in AZ - the sun, the people's faces, and the future.

Things I Did Not Do
1. Drive
2. Cook
3. Wear sunglasses
4. Shave below my waist
5. Listen to NPR

Good Things that Came in Twos
1. On day 5 we found 2 ladybugs in our hotel room.
2. I worked out in the hotel gym 2 times.
3. On day 6 I ate 2 hot fudge sundaes within 3 hours.

Random Things I Enjoyed
1. Grandma's Style pizza
2. The smell of the hotel corridor and the manner in which it became more familiar with each passing day.
3. Showing Keira the town I grew up in...my old house, schools, playground, etc.
4. Listening to the girls 'ooh and ahh' as we drove past Christmas lights.
5. Hair and skin that didn't constantly feel dry.
6. My Aunt Ruthie's homemade apple pie.
7. Having good health insurance.

Don't Ever Let This Happen

Somehow, someway, today, a diaper found its way into our washing machine. Maybe a ska troll chucked it in there. Maybe an absent minded parent got it mixed up with the laundry. Who knows. Knowing exactly how it got there is irrelevant, for it doesn't change the fact that it was there. Also, before I go any further - no, it was not a dirty #2 diaper.

Anyway, the reason a diaper can hold so much baby pee is because it contains lots and lots of little tiny gel bead type things that expand very much, and almost seem to multiply, when they get wet. I saw many of them first hand this morning as I opened up my washing machine cover to discover all of the clothes covered in these expanded gel beads performing at their best. Clumps of them, as well as random ones, scattered about throughout the entire load of laundry and covering the bottom & sides of the washing drum.

Thankfully I have a husband who is down like a mofo when it comes to teamwork. He vacuumed out the washing machine and laundry room floor while I hosed down our underwear in the backyard to get rid of the gel beads.

Why can't diapers be filled with fabric softener?

11.15.8

Today was a good day.

Early this morning I imported a bunch of music to iTunes which was a very much overdo activity. I'm trying to get my library in decent shape before our Thanksgiving week trip to NY. Much progress was made.

Late this morning I took Kristen for a ride in the car in order to induce a nap. As I headed west on SR-238 there was a DPS dude hiding out waiting for speeders, which I was not. I drove for several miles until Kristen passed out, and then I turned around. On my way back, heading east towards the house, some douchebag with a small weenie in a giant truck came right up on my ass and then whizzed past me the first chance he got. As he blew by, I smiled a tranquil smile as I recalled who was waiting for him up ahead. Sure enough, about a mile later I saw that fucker on the side of the road with the DPS man flashing his lights behind him. Oh, sweet justice!

Early this afternoon I went to 4Peaks with some good friends and my husband and sis-in-law. Great food. Great beer. Great times. We proceeded on to the ASU game which was okay. My sis-in-law (Erin) and I bailed before halftime and went a nice little bar off University. Us old folks know it as the Old Dos Gringos, but it's now called something like 'Barney's Boathouse'. The waitress was about 9 years my junior, but after a short grieving period, I was okay with that. The bar was about 2 or 3 doors down from the church Brendan and I were married in, so I enjoyed a moment of nostalgia. We made it back to the car before Brendan did, which was SUPER important to me. I was gloating for the first 5 minutes, but after the first 10 without him showing up I was starting to get pissed. It took him like 25 min to get there. Serves me right for gloating.

Early this evening a stranger showed me his penis. As Erin and I were waiting for Brendan at the car, we were shouting off the side of the parking garage. Nothing important, just random animal noises and what not. Two dudes walking below yelled up at us in a most unoriginal fashion, "Show us your tits!" I quickly yelled back, "Show us your cock!" Well....he did. Thankfully we were waaay high up on the fourth level so I didn't have to get a good look. He was quite proud of himself, and as he pulled his pants back over his junk he responded, "Where's the tits?!" I promptly yelled back, "At your mom's house!" Then I was proud of MYself.

Catalogs

Catalogs are neat. Sometimes they're a nice surprise, other times they are just lowly junk mail. It depends on two things - what type of catalog it is, and whether or not you signed up to recieve it on purpose. Here is a summary of the catalogs I've recieved recently:

1. Oriental Trading's December catalog - standard catalog. Some cute stuff, some junk. All of it Made in China by children the same age as Keira. It reminds me of the disappointment in Keira's voice as I was throwing out all of the Halloween candy she got that was made in China. "Not ALL of it mommy!"

2. Fisher Price's Holiday Collection - Lots of neat kids toys. They had a really cool Little People nativity scene. If it weren't a 'catalog exclusive' I'd pretty much bet my life that my mother-in-law would get it for the girls. Although who knows, maybe she gets the catalog too.

3. Victoria's Secret Christmas 2008 - I'll skip the obvious complaining about the perfect, very much airbrushed, bodies and the related social body image problems. What I found most interesting was the eyes of the models. Most of them looked so dopey. I've heard the term 'bedroom eyes' before, but this catalog takes it to a whole new level. I would like to suggest some new terms to classify this look. How about:

Hangover Eyes

Heroin Overdose Eyes

Wait, What? Eyes

Asian Impression Eyes

No, I Cannot Read the Bottom Line on that Eye Chart Eyes

4. The Pyramid Collection: A Catalog of Personal Growth & Exploration - This is the only catolog that did not have my name on the address label. Apparently the lady who lived in our house before us may have been into earthy Wiccan dragon fairy crystal astrology magick. My favorite section was the "Share the Love" section which featured a 'Pole Dancing Kit' and 'Super Kegel Excerciser.' Timing in life is everything, and this catalog couldn't have come at a better one. Now I have at least TWO things to put on my Christmas Wish List.

Supermarket Saturday

Yesterday I did something I swore I would never do again....I went to the supermarket at miday on a Saturday. It's only logical that supermarkets, and all other stores for that matter, would get a little busier on the weekend, but I feel like we've got it extra bad down here in the 'Copa. I usually go at like 7am on Sundays and it's a dream. No waiting at the cold cut counter or checkouts, plenty of product on the shelves, people sparsely scattered throughout the store...ahhh heaven! On Saturday a 11am it's pretty much the opposite of that.

During the outing I did discover a HUGE new pet peeve. I really dislike when they put extra product displays in the middle of the aisles. I can understand maybe one or two unobtrusive ones (i.e. like the Oreo's right next to the milk case), but yesterday there were about a hundred and three of them all over the place. Add that to massive amounts of people shopping and the fact that I am maneuvering an oversized shopping cart with a car attached to the front like I'm a drunk driver, and you've pretty much got a recipe for disaster. Needless to say, I was not surprised when I heard, "Wet mop clean up on aisle 12," over the intercom.

I am a person of reason, so I understand the intended purpose of these displays. I can also appreciate the influence of the sagging economy on the need of the grocers to sell more products, however they are forgetting one simple thing. Tripping over a tower of Fritos doesn't make me want to buy them. It makes me want to throw them. And then never eat them again.

11.6.8

So it appears Miss Kristen had the correct election prediction. I'm happy about that. The lady next door's proposition passed. I'm sad about that. I'll get over it though, afterall, the people have spoken.

Lots of talk on the radio today about Palin in 2012. Yikes!

Yesterday my Kristen injured herself to the point of bleeding from her mouth. Twice! As if once in a day isn't enough. The second time was worse - she's really lucky she didn't bite off a piece of her tounge.

Work is a downer these days. Every week I say, "There's no way we'll make it through next week." Yet we do. It's frustrating to watch people make multiple bad business decisions over the course of several years, and then have those same people acting surprised at the terrible shape we're in during this sluggish economy. It's even worse when you know you gave them sound advice that was completely dismissed and disregarded. In general they're okay to me there, and they are EXTREMELY flexible when it comes to my schedule (which works out really well with the girls. It's just hard to keep perspective sometimes and keeping perspective is usually what I'm good at.

Fighting off a little cold or something yesterday and today, and it seems like I'm winning the fight. I hope that continues. It should though, I've been taking vitamins and excercising, wiping off doorknobs, and wearing a face mask. Not really on those last two.

Anyhoo....time to make chicken terriyaki and frozen fried rice!

Happy Halloween!

Great night. Good food, better company. Two of the cutest bees you've ever seen. Coupla beers. Trick or treaters. Some of them with manners, most of them without. Carved out pumpkins. Tea light candles. Too much candy. What a way to start a weekend...

Re-Think Pink

Why is it that every time I turn around, another everyday household product is being re-wrapped with a pink label in support of the Susan G. Komen breast cancer foundation? Although I have no specific numbers to back the claim I'm about to make, I'd venture to say that the 'portion of the proceeds' from the sale of said items is marginal. If consumers really wanted to make a difference in the search for a cure, then they, and every woman who's ever found a lump in her breast, would be better off if people supported the cause the good old fashioned way....by writing a check. Novel idea, I know, but think about it. Say you spend 50 bucks a week on groceries and lets pretend for a moment that EVERY item you bought was a carefully pink labeled product. Lets also suppose that 10% of the SALE price of each item (not even profit, but full sale price) was donated. I believe that would give us the following math:

$50 x 52 weeks = $2,600 x .10 = $260

I'm on a roll here, so let's suppose an average family of 4 makes at least $60,000. If my math is correct, that means that your yearly donation through grocery purchases would be .43% of your gross income. Not even half of one percent. Do yourself a favor and cut out the middle man. Don't allow yourself to be emotionally hijacked into buying one product over another because of that cheap pink label or any other manipulative marketing tricks.

If you are wondering - yes, I have donated to the Susan G. Komen Foundation directly. More than once.

Election Predictions

Tonight over our spagetti dinner, Brendan and I explained to our 4 year old Keira that next Tuesday the people of our country would decide who the next President would be. I asked her who she thought would win - John McCain or Barack Obama. She said John McCain. Being an equal opportunity mom I wrote the names John McCain and Barack Obama on a two different pieces of paper and held them up in front of our 16 month old Kristen and asked the same question. She picked Obama. Stay tuned....

The Lady with the Hammer

A few weeks ago my neighbors put decided to put a political sign up in their yard. I am not opposed to such acts of freedom of speech. Afterall, it's their property and their view, so let 'em go ahead, put up the sign. I would be lying, however, if I said I was perfectly happy with their choice of placement. We have no obvious barrier between the end of their yard and the begining of ours, just a blendy broad area of rocks. So where do they decide to put the sign? Towards the end of their yard near the begining of ours, right smack in the middle of ambiguity. I suppose that if I happened to agree with the message of the sign it would not matter, but unfortunately, I believe that the ballot measure my neighbor's sign supports is unecessary. Believe me, I could get into a whole nother blog about the measure alone, but not now. In regards to dealing with the sign my options are as follows:

1. Get over it

2. Ask them to move it

3. Knock it down while they are sleeping and then put up a sign with my own opposing viewpoint.

Anyone who knows me knows that I sooooooo wanted to do (3). I seriously considered it for a moment, but soon after decided that (1) would probably be the best idea. So I got over it. A few days later it was really windy and the sign kept blowing over, and then eventually disappeared. I was smiling on the inside. Well this morning around 6:45 I went outside to throw a stinky diaper directly in the big trash. As I ducked under my slowly rising garage door I discovered the neighbor lady out there with hammer and stake, pounding away, putting her sign back.

How foolish of me to believe we could have gotten through election week without seeing that sign again.

Wind of Change

Today we found a scorpion in the kids tub just before we were about to fill it for their bath. He was a tiny one who must have come up from the drain. Now I'm all freaked out that we're going to find more of them!

Boo & Boooooooo!

I intedned to post this blog last night, but when it came down to it, at the end of the night I was too exhausted. Yesterday was a good day.

BOO

We took the kids to Boo at the Zoo. It was crowded, but not overwhelmingly so. The kids had a good time. Kristen kept calling the animals, "Dog" and Keira spent much of the day reminding us that she wanted to go on the merry-go-round. We had to park in an overflow lot and take a shuttle to the zoo. The experience reminded me, once again, of the harsh contrast between the lives of kids and the live of adults. As we unloaded the car I was less than thrilled about the shuttle. My thoughts - "Oh man, what a pain in the ass. Now we've gotta collapse the double wide stroller and lug all the bags on the bus. I hate waiting for these things too. I hope it doesn't take too long. Ugggghhhh!" Keira's words (in a very excited tone - "Oooooh a bus! I never rode a bus before!" As we climbed on and wrode the 3.2 minute ride to the zoo Keira stared out the window the whole time with a giant smile on her face and glow in her eyes. I couldn't help but feel jealous.


BOOOOOOOO!

Later in the evening Brendan and I had some grown up time as we tailgated for little while and then went to the ASU v. Oregon game. The tailgating was fun but the game not so much. ASU sucked. They seem to be on a downward spiral. Erickson needs to sack up and pull Carpenter. Their chances at a decent bowl game are just about over, and it's not like Carpenter is going to be impressing and NFL orgs. Carpenter's 5 minutes are up. Give the next guy a chance to touch the ball a few times this season, so we can renew hope for next year.

It's Warm Here

So two of my friends having been blogging here for a little while and I have been inspired to do the same. I like it here. I feel like this is a less formal blogging place that will allow me to post more frequently without feeling like I have to read and re-read every line a million times to make sure it came out exactly the way I wanted it to. I look foward to enjoying the freedom this warm place has brought me.

Here are a few things you should know before you read any further:

1. I am a terrible speller. In elementary school when we used to have the classroom spelling competition to see which kid would represent our class in the school spelling bee, I would always make it to the final rounds. The thought of getting up in front of the whole school to spell words was so terrifying however, that purposely mis-spelled words to get myself out. Ever since then, my spelling ability has been retarded.

2. I am painfully aware of the fact that I will occasionally (hopefully not too often) mis-use words like 'their' & 'there' or 'your' & 'you're.' For me this is a use it or lose it kind of thing. When I was in school and actively writing papers I would never make these kinds of mistakes, however, now my ability to avoid such simple errors is inferior.

3. I am in love with the dictionary and the thesaurus. I wish I had a better memory so I could retain the kind of vocabulary I often dream of.

4. I like to use dots (....) and dashes (-), in places that are probably inappropriate. Punctuation is for pansies. Not really, I only said that to seem cool.