Magic

Mr. Clean Magic Eraser (MCME) is unbelievable. It is seriously the BEST cleaning product. Ever. I have no idea what type of chemical makeup is required to produce these little rectangular giftlets from heaven, and I don't think I really want to know. Ignorance is bliss for me on this one, but I kinda feel like they are made of something so potent that if I clean my kitchen sink with them 9 more times, it will completely disappear.

If MCME came out in the 50s I think its impact on the liberation of women would be greater than that of the birth control pill. It saves so much time and makes cleaning so easy that I started thinking, "What if there were products like this for other aspects of life?" The potential applications are infinite:

MEDICAL - Mr...NO!...DR. Clean's Cancer Eraser, Dr. Clean's High Blood Pressure Eraser, Dr. Clean's AIDS Eraser. Slogan: "Cure any disease with ease" Okay, so maybe Bono would have one less cause to carry on about, but I'm sure he'll find at least 2 more in its place.

SOCIAL - Mr. Clean's Crackhead Eraser "Savin Yo Life by Erasin'the Pipe". Mr. Clean's Teen Pregnancy Eraser - now with STD blocking power! Come to think of it, this may already be available at Planned Parenthood.

POLITICAL - Mr. Clean's Rhetoric Eraser. "Say Your Goodbyes to Election Year Lies"

PERSONAL - Mr. Clean's (Insert Whatever you Don't like About Yourself Here) Eraser. Anyone could improve upon anything they want with swipe of a wannabe white sponge thing! I think I might have a business idea growing here. I mean - if there are people out there who honestly believe that you can lose weight by eating chocolate, would it really be such a stretch to expect these same people to believe you can delete a dumpy ass with a little scrub a dub dub?

Just thinking...

..

How it Went

Okay, so this is the follow up blog on how "Operation Downgrade" went. I'm pleased to report that over the course of the week I was able to achieve a higher level of personal awareness that served as a reminder that I can be better.

If it were a strictly pass/fail grading system, the results would be as follows:

1. No computer use at home - FAIL
2. No facebook. At all. From any computer. Anywhere. - PASS
3. Personal email account may be checked no more than ONCE per day - PASS
4. No TV at home - FAIL
5. No ipod - FAIL
6. No text messaging - FAIL
7. Cell phone can only be used when I am at home (to simulate the good 'ole days of land lines). - FAIL
8. AM/FM radio is permitted - N/A
9. CDs are permitted - N/A

Fortunately for the sake of my self esteem, life is generally not a pass/fail system. Instead, the space between disaster and perfection is filled with miles and miles of mediocrity into which we can fall. And so we have the much more applicable A-F grading system:

1. No computer use at home: B+. I logged on once to pay some bills and balance the checkbook. Brendan logged on to learn how to replace a belt in his car and order the necessary replacement part.

2. No facebook. At all. From any computer. Anywhere: A+

3. Personal email account may be checked no more than ONCE per day: A+

4. No TV at home: C. Completely successful for the first part of the week. We cheated for game 7 of NBA Finals, which opened the door for full and regular use of the TV on Saturday.

5. No ipod: B-. Didn't use the ipod all week, but full and regular use resumed on Saturday.

6. No text messaging: A. I sent (1) text in response to a text from the people we were meeting for dinner on day 6.

7. Cell phone can only be used when I am at home (to simulate the good 'ole days of land lines): C-. This one was probably the hardest for me to get used to. I took a couple of work related calls when I was in the car, and on Day 3 I forgot and called my dad while driving to work. Full and regular cell phone use resumed on Sunday.

So it looks like I had about a B average overall. Not bad.

..

Operation Downgrade

In search of greater peace, happiness, harmony, and understanding, I plan to launch a one week experiment starting Monday 6.14. Basically, I'm looking to downgrade our household use of technology in the hopes of strengthening our being.

Here are the house rules:

1. No computer use at home
2. No facebook. At all. From any computer. Anywhere.
3. Personal email account may be checked no more than ONCE per day
4. No TV at home
5. No ipod
6. No text messaging
7. Cell phone can only be used when I am at home (to simulate the good 'ole days of land lines).
8. AM/FM radio is permitted
9. CDs are permitted

..