That Which Cannot Be Duplicated

NOTE: This blog was written last night, but unable to be posted due to an internet outage

This evening I stole a few minutes for myself to partake in one of my favorite creative outlets - making music. I use the Garageband ap for the iPad, which is a dream come true. I'm sure some 'real' musicians out there find it to be a joke, but they can just go fuck themselves. Garageband has saved my creative soul. There is no faster way to develop random song ideas that pop into ones head than by using Garageband. While I have sent many a voicemail to myself containing two line melodic snip-its, I've never had a way to 'tinker' with these ideas or nurture them immediately. Many a snip-it has died somewhere between the 900th call from my mom and a dentist appointment reminder from a receptionist. Anyhow...

Tonight when I was working on a song, something strange happened. I was recording a drum track that was perfectly (read "fairly well") timed as I recorded it, however when I played it back, it was as though it was a half a beat or so behind. It didn't come out the way I wanted it to, but it was, in a weird way, better. I would never have recorded it that way on purpose and I will never be able to recreate it, because it happened completely unintentionally. Then I started thinking...

In my own life, it seems the greatest times I've had are the ones I've approached with limited and unspecified intentions. The best stories come from the things we stumble upon. Things like the 'one drink' happy hour that turns into an all nighter. Or the moment when you are inexplicably drawn to the lips of lover. When we remove all intention and allow moments to manifest on their own, the memories they create are incredible. The only problem is this...

Incredible memories that cannot be duplicated are the emotional equivalent of crack. Though I've never tried crack, from what I understand, the first time you use it, you get so unbelievably high that you spend the rest of your days chasing that ‘first time euphoria.’ Then your life falls apart. Similarly (but not as severely of course), if you approach a situation with the intentions of duplicating a previous positive memory, you are destined to fail. Reflecting on my own life I realize now, that the times I’ve tried to chase a memory are the same ones that have left me feeling the emptiest. Don’t spend your days chasing that which cannot be duplicated. Allow memories to make themselves and you will never become a crack head.

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