Generation WTF

Every generation has a name. Generation X. Generation Y. The Greatest Generation. The Not So Greatest Generation. I might have made that last one up. We use these GENERation names to refer to entire segments of the population in a GENERic way. While I could very easily go off on a tangent about generalities in general, for the moment I shall refrain.

Over the past few days I've been thinking about the generation to which my children belong. A generation I now call "Generation WTF." The meaning for this new tag I have placed on our kids is two fold. First, it is a reference to the ever increasing abbreviation of our language. Our syntax is being circumvented in a sort of communication castration. Bombarded by texting and all of this TTYL8R and WWJD, I gotta say, it's a terrible time to be a vowel. I'm afraid there is no turning back on this erosion of our eloquence, but I sure hope I am wrong.

The second reason why I have bestowed the "Generation WTF" tag on our children is that so often while observing and interacting with this age group, I find myself thinking, "What the F*ck?!" A few examples for your consideration:

1. The emergence of "Peanut Awareness." Apparently, peanut butter is poison these days. It is so dangerous, in fact, that kids who have peanut allergies must sit at entirely separate lunch tables from those who do not. When was the last time you saw a kid smear another kid's face with PB&J just to watch him stop breathing? I say to you, " Generation WTF?!"

2. Over the top parties with over the top presents. Birthday parties for kids are out of control. When I was a kid, they parties were always at the kids house. Cake, a couple games and you'd call it good. Nowadays kids get bouncy castles and petting zoos! I was recently at a party for an 8 year old who got a 'sit on' motorized scooter that goes up to 15 mph. Not only is the thing not recommended for kids under age 12, but it also costs more than 3 weeks worth of groceries. I say to you, "Generation WTF?!"

3. Everyone is a Princess. What happened to the days when the contents of the dress up box were representations of respectable people in professions? You know - productive members of society who actually do something important for a living. Doctors, nurses, police officers, fireman, etc. If you ever want to be nauseous, take a look at the dress up boxes of today: princess, cheerleader, pop star, stripper. Just kidding on that last one....for now anyway. "Generation WTF?!"

4. Valentines is know referred to by the public school system as "Friendship Day." Generation WTF?!

5. I'm 9. I have a cell phone. "Generation WTF?!"

I could go on and on but for now I'll say, "To Be Continued." Oops, I mean TBC.

..