Don't Get on that Bus

I recently found out about something called Hangover Heaven. Perhaps you've heard about it on the news, but in case you haven't, Hangover Heaven is a big tour bus that cruises around Las Vegas offering help for hangovers. Actually it offers more than help, it offers a cure. For the low low price of ninety dollars you can rid yourself of a hangover by having a 45 minute treatment during which IV fluids are pumped through your system.  For an additional sixty dollars they'll even add anti nausea and anti inflammatory meds to the IV line. When I first heard about this concept, I wasn't sure how to react. After some careful thought, however, I've decided that I hate it. Emphatically. A hangover is a disease unworthy of a cure. Alzheimer's deserves a cure. Cancer deserves a cure. Feeling like shit because you drank more alcohol than your body can process deserves nothing more than itself. The real cure for a hangover is responsibility. Have fun, but handle yourself. Know your limits.  Test them if you want to, but when you unsuccessfully exceed them (as most of us have at one time or another), don't look for some magic bus to bail your pounding head, puking guts, sorry ass out.

I think the hangover bus bothers me the most because on a larger scale, it represents all that is wrong with our society today. We want all of the pleasure but none of the pain. Immediate rewards with very little sacrifice; weight loss pills instead of working out, energy drinks instead of going to bed on time, earn at home 'diploma mill' degrees instead of grueling academic programs with rigorous curricula.  The solutions to your problems are easy, all you need is money to buy the answers.  What? You don't have money? No sweat! Just put it on your credit card.  Get a student loan. Get a second mortgage. Take what you want, you deserve it. Except you don't, and neither do I. It's all about choices. Acknowledge the impracticality of your 'wants,' and live within your means. Commit to 'the long road,' and accept the consequences of your actions. The future of our nation depends on this. Finally, if you just can't manage to refrain from that 'last call' shot of tequilla, puke all over the bathrooms at the Bellagio if you have to, but please for the sake of society, don't get on that bus!

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